Chapter 53

Cause I Can See It In Your Eyes <3 <3

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UUUFFFFFF!!! HE DOESNTT UNDERSTAAANDD!!!!!!

After a while, they both came and 3adel explained the story , they gave me another huge lecture, and then we just spend the next few  days with me, laya still doesn’t know anything, if she knows, she'll probably leave her honeymoon to come stay with me, I don’t want that.

2 Weeks Later

So im still not over Adam, I haven’t seen him since that day, he's just no-were to be found, I started college, it's good and easy(foundation year :p), but still not having fun cause I know a piece of me is missing, 7abeeb is still in America, so is my dad, he had the kidney transplant and it went perfect :D so they're just waiting for the results to come out and see if he's going to be alright!! Its Friday today, so I decided to go to the hospital again, haven't been there in so long!! Marya and d3y AND reem can't come, so I'll be going alone today!
I tied my hair in a ponytail, wore grey sweatpants and a black t-shirt, tied a ribbon around my neck and left the house.

When I reached, I went to the usual room I go to, entered,  w waza3t 3alaihm a few toys I bought for them, and played the guitar for them, the fact that I made all those poor sick children smile and enjoy their day just made me so happy and proud of myself! When I was done, I wanted to move on to the next room, so I was walking in the hallway, I heard a few doctors screaming

Doctors: out of the way pleasee!! People pleasee movee!! Quiklyy get him oxygen nooow!!

I sticked to the wall so I would give them way, I looked at the patient on the bed who apparently needed oxygen, and I burst out crying

Me: AADDAAAAM!!!

I ran after the doctors and nurses to know what's happening to my angel but they all went inside a room, I sat on the floor, just waiting for someone to come out, I know he just probably got sick from the cancer, but he never passed out before,ya3ny he always has his conscience!!

I waited, waited, waited and waited...almost an hour passed and then FINALLY someone came out!! I jumped of the floor and asked

Me: umm low sma7t

Doctor: tfa'9ly

Me: mmkn a3arf sh9ar fe adam?

Doctor: t3arfeena?

Me: ee

Doctor: who are you to him?

Me: ana, im..im his

Doctor: eee t'thakartchh!! Enty ely knty klaa wya, w gltaw 7ag mmr'9a enkm ma56oobeen? 7abeebta la

Me: hehehe umm ee

Doctor: walla adam shakla msawy fe roo7a shy, and he lost oxygen because of cancer

Me: shsaawaa f roo7a??

Doctor: he tried drowning himself   

Me:*gasping*

Doctor: yup, Shfee hal ayam wala ma3arf, do you know what's wrong with him? Do you know why he did that?

I started crying and said: please y9eer achoofa

Doctor: (exhaling deeply) suree

He lead me to the room they kept him in

Me: shkraan wayeed

Doctor: la tashkreen please

I smiled and went inside, 7alta 7aalaaa, he's pale,  his eyes from under are so baggy, '9a3fan waaayyeed, and he had the drippy thingy and the nose oxygen thing attached to him, I tried to hold my tears and went and sat next to him on the bed
he was still asleep, I held his hand slowly, FINAALLYY held his hand, how long it's been since I've been dreaming just to be close to him, just to feel the texture of his skin, just to smell his scent, I squeezed very lightly on his hand , then he moved his head slowly towards me and lightly opened his eyes, when he recognized me, he frowned then smiled, then frowned then smiled again, not knowing which expression to pick

Me: bs adam, its ok, we'll talk about this later (I couldn’t hold the tears that were choking me, and let them down my cheeks) go back to sleep okay…

Tears fell down Adam's cheeks; he held the ribbon that was on my neck

Me: Adam laa (I held his hand slowly and put it down

Adam: ssshhhh

More tears fell down my face remembering that night and that day, he pulled the ribbon of my neck, and saw the scar that the rope left

Adam: (madder face than I've ever seen him had, he said with a cracked voice)layaan?!? Are you crazy, how can you be so stupid?!?

Me: adam your in here because you were just as stupid as I was…don’t you dare do this again!! Okk!!

Adam: aanaa welaa entyyy?!?!?!

Me: adam ent le7een ta3ban, ergd w ba3dain bntkalam, don’t worry im not leaving until we finish this…

He wiped the tears of his face, squeezed my hand and then went to sleep like the angel he's always been, I rested my head on the bed's pole-stand-thingy that supported the bed, and I apparently fell asleep too

---

Something woke me up, I could feel something really soft stroking my cheeks, and I opened my eyes, I saw him there, finallyy there, he stroked my cheeks, and I took my head up the pole-stand-thingy

Me: shlonk el7een

Adam: ta3bana?

Me: addaaam shlonk el7een??

Adam: hhhhh ana zain el7amdilla, enty shlonch, ta3bana?

Me: laa im fine, how long were you awake??

Adam: madry, 1 hour I think

Me: shlaa ma ga3adtny??

Adam: I just wanted to watch you…

I looked down and blushed, he sat up straight suddenly and in a rabsha kind of way, he took my hand and said

Adam: ta3aly g3dy 3al sreer

So I sat on his bed

Adam: layan, please tell me, why did you do that? (he looked at my neck)

Me: because you wanted to 'end the journey' fa glt ok, and I wanted to end it, bs 3adel dash 3alay w chafny, ma 5alany artaa7

Adam: TRTA7EEEN?!?? TMOOTEEN YA3NYY TRTA7EEN?!?! MAYNOONAA ENTYY??

Me:  EEE ADAAAM!! LA2NKK HADAITNY WHEEN YOU WERE EVERYTHING I HAD, YOU WERE MY LIFE!!! YOU LEFT ME!! SO THEREE WAS NOTHING WORTH LIVING FORR ANYMORE!! DON’T YOU GET THAT?!?! WONT YOU EVER UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH I NEED YOUU!  OOH MYY GOOD IF ONLY YOU KNEWW!!!!

Adam: shhhh 5ala9 layan, stop shouting, im soryy , im really sorryy, if only I knew what?

Me: nothing, why did you drown yourself??

Adam: same reason, theres no reason to live if your not next to me

Me: so why did you do that? Why did you end both our lives?

Adam: layan gltlch laish, mabeech t'9ay3een 7ayatch w enty ga3da tsa3deeny, mabeech tmeen t9ee7een 3alay la2nch 5ayfa, mabeech tt3atheben wyay mab---

Me: ADAAAM I WOU…(breathing in and cooling down)adam I would rather spend the rest of my life with you even if you had cancer and you were 24/7 fl mstashfa w ana yamk, wala a3eesh 7ayaty w ana adry enk mb lee, w ma bagdar achoof wayhk, wala asma3 9ootk…

Adam: (coming closer to me) layan, I've done a huge mistake, w knt abee ayeelch w agoolch sorry, bs ely sawaita feech mb 8aleel, w knt adry ench ma btsam7eeny, mn chi sawait ely sawaita el youm! Layan ana nadmaan, 5ala9 la7a'9t ena ana magdar a3eesh bdoonch, I just can't, it's impossible, t3arfeen shnow ya3nyy impossible!!! Im so soryyy! It was the biggest mistake of my life !! layan pleasee sma7eeenyy!! Walllaaa mb gadrr at5ayal 7ayaty w enty mb yamy, aw at5ayalch enty wya wa7d thany, magdar a76 el fkra f baly ena you won't be mine anymore!! Please sam7eenyy

Me: (tears were running down my face non-stop and I was smiling like anything, I wiped the tears away and sniffed) hmmm, walla Adam I'll have to think abo—

He didn’t let me finish he just pulled me down next to him and hugged me literally the tightest he's ever hugged me

We both laughed a little, and just stared at each other, trying to make up for the days that we were ma7roomeen mn ba3a'9

Me: wa7ashtny adam

Adam: enty akthar wallaa

I lied down on his chest, as usual, and just tried to cherish every moment I had with him

Me: *imitating his voice* layan ana ma beech, I don’t love you anymore!! 9j 7mar

Adam: wahahahahaha, walla that was the heardest thing I was ever forced to say

Me: no-one forced you

Adam: … sh9ar that day anyways??

Me: you don’t want to know, and I don’t want to remember

Adam: please tell me

Me: (crying) adam I don’t want to remember pleasee!! Mat3arf shsawait feeny that day okay!! You think it was easy for mee?!?! You think its that easyyy to talk about??

Adam: 5alaaa9 layaan im soryy, I didn’t know you were this affected 7ayaty walaa asff

Me: laa I am this affecteedd

Adam: im soo soryy layan, walla you deserve better

Me: bas adam, I never, I mean NEEEVVEERR want to hear that again, or anything in that consept

Adam: 5ala9 I promise

Me: ee 3abaly ba3ad

Adam: hhhhh

TO BE CONTINUED